Introducing Emotional Intelligence: A Practical Guide

Introducing Emotional Intelligence: A Practical Guide by Dr. David Walton 


Publisher: Icon Books Ltd
Year: 2012
Format: Paperback
Pages: 218
Genres: Mental health 

Book Review: 
Introducing Emotional Intelligence: A Practical Guide is a book written by Dr. David Walton who is a formerly clinical psychologist in the UK's National Health Service and then as an occupational psychologist in government and public service.This is a book about the framework of emotional intelligence and the ways of managing of emotion while dealing with people and matters in proper ways.  This book consists of two sections which are the emotional intelligence framework and emotional intelligence in practice. 


Book Summary: 

The concept of Emotional Intelligence: 
Emotional intelligence is the ability to manage the impact of emotions on our relationships with others. It involves recognizing accurately how you and others feel at any particular time and the way emotions are affecting the situation. It involves keeping feelings sufficiently in control so that we can act effectively. 

This involves:

  • Mindfulness: being aware – understanding yourself and others
  • Being in control of your own thoughts, emotions, and needs
  • Being positive and self-motivated particularly in the face of setbacks
  • Using empathy: being able to put yourself in others’ shoes
  • Communicating effectively to build productive and positive relationships
  • Using emotional reasoning: being able to use emotions to enhance rather than restrict your thinking. 
Developing your own EI enables you to:

  1. Know yourself reasonably well
  2. Control your own emotions
  3. Show empathy with the feelings of others
  4. Use social skills in an effective as well as simply pleasant way.


Part 1 The emotional intelligence framework 
 Self-knowledge
To reduce pessimistic thinking, you should ask yourself: 
  • What evidence is there for your negative thoughts?
  • Is your pessimistic thinking related to past events? Have things changed now?
  • Can you find an alternative explanation or other evidence for the situation?
  • Even if there is no positive explanation, does it really matter?
  • What are the implications of the situation?
  • Is it really damaging?
  • And if you can’t find an optimistic explanation for the cause, which perspective would be more helpful for your mood?
The ways of strengthening self-esteem: 
  1. Stop comparing yourself to other people
  2. Don’t put yourself down
  3. Get into the habit of thinking and saying positive things
  4. Accept compliments
  5. Use self-help books and website to help you change your beliefs
  6. Spend time with positive, supportive people
  7. Acknowledge your positive qualities and things you are good at
  8. Be assertive; don’t allow people to treat you with a lack of respect.
  9. Be helpful and considerate to others.
  10. Engage in work and hobbies that you enjoy.

Managing your emotion 

In order to manage your emotion, you should:
  1. Breathe deeply
  2. Take a break, make some coffee, go for a short walk.
  3. Use the ‘thinking’ part of your brain to exert influence on the emotion-creating part.
  4. Project into the future- how significant will this situation be next week/ month/ year?
  5. Change the variables- if someone else was involved, would you still feel the same? If it happened at a different time, would it still be so upsetting?
  6. Minimize negative automatic thinking- were there no redeeming features at all? Am I speculating about something which may ever happen? Am I blaming myself for something I had no control over?
  7. 3 minutes stress control- try a breathing exercise to reduce the effect of stress
  8. Model a new behavior- think of someone you value or admire. How would they behave in this situation?
  9. Use collaborative language to encourage others to resolve the situation: ‘we’, ‘us,’ ‘together,’ ‘share,’ etc.
  10. Adopt a collaborative approach- what will encourage others to help- being respected? Being helped? Being positive?  Being clear? Being values?

Understand the meaning of sympathy and empathy: 


Sympathy stems from judgement of someone’s situation and is a reflection of how you feel. It is caring and helpful but is about you. And it may not employ many critical, analytical skills.

Empathy is about the other person’s perspective and feelings. Showing you understand enables you to get closer and gain trust. Most EI people draw on empathy as a tool for relationship-building and understanding problems. It is based on effective listening, communication, and critical analysis. 


Managing your relationship 
  1. Show people that you value them
  2. Seek mutual understanding and information sharing
  3. Fine- tune your presentation to appeal to the listeners’ needs
  4. Build consensus and support whatever possible
  5. Communicate with clear and convincing messages
  6. Use negotiation rather than dominance
  7. Be upfront and straightforward, avoiding games or office politics
  8. Analyze performance and root causes of problems
  9. Approach conflict constructively, staying aware of others’ feelings
  10. Bring disagreements into the open, and help de-escalate them
  11.  Be tactful when responding to others
  12. Orchestrate win-win situations
  13. Understand uncertainty and metanoia (changing of mindset)

Part 2 Emotional Intelligence in Practice 
EI and workplace

Developments driving continued interest in emotional intelligence include:
  1. Structural changes like flatter structure and rationalization/downsizing
  2. Changing product life cycles
  3. Increasing complexity and the job design implications of technology
  4. Market changes, globalization, and financial adjustments
  5. Unprecedented growth in the not-for-profit and value based vector
  6. Continual change and continuous process review
  7. Need for enhanced performance
  8. Insufficient capacity or resource shortages
  9. Employment patterns changing and frequency of job changes within a career
  10. Increased stress and mental health issues
  11. Consumerism affecting aspirations
  12. Increasing focus on customer relationships

The ways of managing difficult situation: 
  1. Developing a positive perspective focusing on strengths and opportunities rather than blame and weakness
  2. Being aware of your gut reactions
  3. Using empathy- a key indicator of emotional intelligence
  4. Decoding body language
  5. Showing others that you understand their feelings
  6. Checking with them that you understand the problem
  7. Being clear about the endgame- solutions that satisfy both needs
  8. Gaining attention
  9. Collaborative language and problem-solving
  10. Providing the basis for positive future work


5 ways to emotional intelligence through well-being: 
  1. Connecting with others
  2. Be physically active
  3. Stay alert
  4. Keep learning
  5. Give 

My thoughts: 

In this book, the writer has designed some evaluation tests for readers to observe their own personality. I like the book explains the ways of managing personal emotion, solving relationship problems, guiding children, and stress. For me, a great emotional control is starting from the healthy lifestyle. Speak to close friends in personal problems, watching the speech from the influential person, traveling, and join favorite activities are very helpful in controlling stress and anxiety problems. Last but not least, problems are the root cause of causing negative emotion. Therefore, stay focus and flexible in problem-solving process is the suggested way to keep yourself in great condition. 


Recommendation: 

I strongly recommend this book to those are interested in brain thinking skills, emotional intelligence, mentality, and health even though you don't have any ideas and knowledge about brain structure and thinking process. 


If you are interested in this book, you can check this link: 




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